Disassociation

Lately, I feel this disassociation,

Of me from me,

And of me from this world,

That seems so chaotic,

Going on and on,

Despite clashes and crashes,

Despite natural disasters,

And I feel this disassociation,

With all of it,

As if I've taken myself out of this equation,

By telling myself,

It's not happening to me,

Because what's happening to me,

Is bigger and bad than,

Whatever is happening in the world.

Thus protecting myself from,

Everything that's not my concern.

This disassociation, is in fact,

A survival instinct,

Other than flight or fight,

This is freeze,

That doesn't allow me to act,

Or take a decision,

Because I hope,

If I don't act on it,

It'll go away.

But it doesn't,

It's right here,

In my face,

Staring at me,

With such friction,

That I was avoiding,

And running away from,

But, hey, it's here,

And it'll stay here,

Until I fight,

For it to leave me,

Because I've taken the flight,

And it stays,

Right here, in my chest,

Without paying any rent,

And I'm definitely not fawning over it.

So, until I find the courage,

To fight it,

Whatever disassosiative feeling this is,

I'm freezing and kind of fleeing,

But for how long I don't know,

But it's going to end soon,

I know.